Nerves
Many people hate speaking in public. I’ve never minded, but it seems like my body used to react violently to speaking in front of even a small group. It was a completely physiological reaction: chest tightens, heart starts beating rapidly, vision narrows, mind goes blank, sweat starts flowing, etc… It drove me nuts!
Eventually I got over it, and my body stopped rebelling against public speaking.
The same thing happened when I started playing mandolin in church. I’d get really nervous, especially if I was bringing in a song or playing part of a song by myself. Five years later, I’m much more comfortable.
But then last night, I volunteered to lead worship at a Celebrate Recovery small group. While I’m comfortable playing in public, singing is a whole other matter. And I’ve never lead worship solo before either.
We’ve all seen the American Idol auditions where the singers are so nervous that they can barely stand. And I’ve always found it interesting how being nervous makes you really pitchy. That was me last night. I’m a pitchy, mediocre singer at best. But combined with nerves, I think I missed every single note in all 3 songs.
And I got so focused on the vocals, that I made a ton of mistakes playing guitar. Crazy since I know those sings inside and out.
Ironically, I read this scripture from Isaiah 40 to them before I started:
“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31, NLT)
If only it had said “They will play guitar and not be nervous. They will sing and not be pitchy.” I wonder if some of ancient scribes accidentally left off that part.
I wonder if they’ll invite me back…
I am sure you did just fine. You were singing for the Lord!
Not that I am your mother and a bit partial:)