From the Mind of MandoRon

I’d never seen this Abbott and Costello clip until this morning.  Hilarious!

A disturbing interaction (if you can even call it an interaction) with my dog this morning got me thinking about something.

Most people are familiar with courtesy cars and even courtesy laughs.  But there are many other courtesies too.

So as a courtesy to you, the reader, I’ve started compiling a list of these lesser-known courtesies.  Feel free to thank me later.

The courtesy tail-wag - This is what I experienced with my dog this morning.  He was sleeping on the loveseat.  I scratched him behind the ears and bent over for a little doggie-kiss.  He gave me a courtesy tail-wag and then shot me a look that said, “go away and let me go back to sleep you stupid biped!”  What ever happened to “man’s best friend”?

The courtesy curtsy - These are pretty rare, actually, and only used when you encounter someone impersonating a member of the Royal Family.

The courtesy tip - This a a tip of 25 cents, or less - generally given in business establishments where the barrista/counter-worker has a plastic or foam cup with a piece of paper sticking out that reads “TIPS”.  Courtesy tips can also be used with street musicians that lack anything resembling talent.  Please note that giving pocket change to a Salvation Army bellringer is, in fact, a charitable donation and not a courtesy tip.

The courtesy clap - Frequently seen at golf tournaments when a golfer completes an over-par round.  Spectators will also give courtesy claps when a golfer four-putts on a par 3.  The courtesy high-five, courtesy pat-on-the-back, and courtesy good-game are all close cousins of the courtesy clap…

The courtesy kiss - The oral equivalent of a side hug, administered by your significant other.  Courtesy kisses are often accompanied by the phrases:  “Shh! My program’s on”,  “Have a good day at work”, or “I’m going to sleep”.

The courtesy glance - Typically occurs when someone you know has something important (or something that they think is important) that they want to show you, but you are either distinterested, busy, or both.  Courtesy glances are sometimes followed by double-takes or having the all-important item shoved in your face.

Did I miss anything?  Leave a comment with other courtesies that you’ve either experienced or extended to someone else.

Freshman year of high school… First day of school… First period… Debate class… Mr. McCabe kicks things off by talking to us about how important it is to keep up with current events. 

He asks if anyone knows what “PLO” stands for.

I excitedly raise my hand, and blurt out “Permanant Latrine Orderly”.

Mr. McCabe starts laughing hysterically, and says he was looking for “Palestine Liberation Organization“.

Even though he actually understood my reference to the classic Andy Griffith movie, No Time for Sergeants, I still felt rather stupid.  I guess I still do even though it’s nearly 22 years later…

Why do I bring this up?  First of all, to make you laugh.  Second, because they finally released No Time for Sergeants, one of my favorites movies ever, on DVD.

It is one of the funniest movies that I’ve ever seen.  It predates The Andy Griffith Show by a few years and was Don Knott’s first film role. 

Until I ordered the DVD a few days ago, I didn’t realize that it was actually based on a Broadway play.  Andy Griffith received a Tony nomination for Best Actor in 1956 for his role in the play.

So what’s the point of all of this?  You really need to see this movie.  And never, ever answer a question about the PLO with “Permanant Latrine Orderly”!

And what exactly is a “Permanant Latrine Orderly”?  Well, you’ll have to watch the movie…

In The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (book 2 of Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series), readers are introduced to the Total Perspective Vortex - a torture device that shows people just how insignificant they are.  Most people learn that they are really just an infinitesimal speck in an infinitely big universe.  Interestingly, when Zaphod Beeblebrox enters the device, it informs him that he’s the most important thing in the universe.

I’m not quite sure why, but I was wondering yesterday what it would be like if the world revolved around me.  (Figuratively, more than literally…  I’m not arguing with Copernicus’ theory that the earth revolves around the sun…)

Be honest… there would be a lot of advantages to having the world revolve around you.  Think about it!

• You would never get stuck at a red light.  The traffic light would always be green!  And no traffic jams either.
• You would never be late for anything - movies, tv shows, concerts, kids’ soccer games, etc…  They would always wait for you to arrive.
• You would always be in fashion since the rest of the world would copy what you wear.
• Your mechanic would have your car ready the same day that you dropped it off.  And you’d get a loaner Corvette to drive to work.
• You can always find a good parking spot.  In fact, any place that you visit frequently will likely give you a reserved spot with your name on it.
• Your watch would would always have the correct time.  The atomic clocks in Greenwich would adjust to you.
• Everyone in the band would tune to your instrument.  Even the piano!
• And I’m sure there are many more…

I was thinking of making this a two-part series; part two would cover the potential disadvantages.  But after thinking about it, I realized… THERE ARE NONE!

So here’s where you get to chime in.  What am I missing?  What other advantages would there be to being the center of the universe?

Saturday night, we found Jett in a rather awkward position. 

It was too funny not to share…

Yes, he’s really asleep.

And yes, it’s entirely possible that the cat pushed him off.